Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Genitals Or GeniTails?


This weekend we went to the zoo. What a great way to spend a nice winter afternoon with the family. It was enjoyable and yet oddly uncomfortable. Please allow me to explain. My brother Bob* was slightly preoccupied with the genitals of the zoo inhabitants. Cage after cage he would point out the penis, the enlarged clitoris or the gaping anus of the various monkeys. He would point, look and get closer; point, look and get closer before practically pressing his nose to the glass, and then saying to me, "You really are fixated on the genitals of the monkeys, aren't you?"
What?

I could not believe what I was hearing. Was it my face looking at the rear of the Gibbons? No. Were my eyes glued to the baboon buttocks? No. Was I the one debating whether the dangling object looked penile or clitoral? (I might have possibly participated in this discussion)
Here he was, actually trying to make it seem as though I were the sick one; the one fascinated by the weird hanging thing! In reality, he spotted the "thing" hanging there in the first place! Again, he would spot the big pink thing. And again, the small shriveled thing.
And the muscular ape, possibly "doing" his thing. And on and on and on. Here Bob* was, painting me as the "genitals at the zoo freak", while it was quite clearly obvious that he was the freak!

From this experience I have learned that when you go to the zoo and see something hanging from the buttocks of a monkey, for the comfort of those around you, do not press your nose to the glass and point. Just pretend it is a tail and not a genital. Your sister will thank you.

*This name has been changed to protect the identity of Clyde.

6 comments:

clyde said...

AS Bob recalls it was you that had the fixation with the dangles not me...

Amber Bamber said...

Is this the brother that I am enamored with? I have a little bit of a concern now! When I do finally get to meet him (in person) will he be smitten with my genitalia?

pinklover said...

We are all smitten with yours! If you eat a banana when you meet him he might try to look up your skirt.

clyde said...

Bob here again. kind of nice to be in the salty city so I can keep tabs on the insanity out in Hairyman (fitting name for the town you live in given YOUR fixation). Next time we go to the zoo I think Amber should come and see first hand your love for pink....................... (monkey parts).

Amber Bamber said...

Oh! how I would so enjoy spending a day at the zoo with y'all. Thanks for the invite (Bob)

Anna said...

Zoo trips are a little different with each family I am learning... But I will agree that sometimes it is difficult to know the difference between what is used for what... I suppose we should have a new erspect for vets that work with zoo animals. Ore maybe they are just a bunch obsessed with pink parts??