Friday, February 15, 2008


Something about the color pink is so scrumptious to me. It goes beyond the normal, "What's your favorite color?" feeling. I mean, I love the color pink. I want to look at it, own it, lick it, squeeze it, touch it and eat it. I see a pink something, anything, and I can imaging myself rolling in it or rolling on it.
The little girl clothing section of any store is a problem. I don't necessarily want to buy the pink dresses, but I want to feel them. Just the pink ones.
Pink stationary is almost more exciting to me than Valentine's Day. Truthfully, when I see pink stationary, I want to lick it. I would love to have a room dedicated to all pink paper. Tissue, wrapping, writing and card stock. All kinds, every kind, as long as it is pink. In all shades and patterns. Just pink.
I feel happy when I think of myself in my pretend pink paper room, with pretty pink wallpaper and a comfy pink chair, with pink sheer drapes fluttering in the breeze, sipping pink lemon aid and writing with a pink ink pen! Serious JOY. The butterfly kind of happiness.
There is one thing above all, that drives my love of pink to beyond normalcy. Pink sugar cookies. Oh...My...gosh. Words cannot describe the love I have for the fluffy, pink, frosted bits of heaven. I want plates of them. Tier upon tier, layer upon layer of beautiful pink frosted cookies! I think the smell of pink is a frosted sugar cookie. And the best part is, I get to EAT them! I see the pink, I enjoy the wondrous pink color, I smell the sugary pink scent and then I get to lick it!
yes.. yes.... Yes....Yes.. YES!YES! That is seriously what I am thinking while I eat one.
Oh, how I love the pink sugar cookies. Thank you Valentine's Day.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Man Up!

My husband is a deep sleeper. He is a sleeper of the deepest kind. He is as close to being dead, but still breathing there is. I actually think he goes so far under, you could perform wisdom tooth extraction and he would happily doze.

It doesn't cause too many concerns but I worry some. I worry when I think what would happen in the case of a home invasion robbery. It would be up to me to defend the family, while Sleeping Beauty dreams. The other concern I have is when I leave for work at 0400 and he is the parent in charge.

This is why Kyler and I are exploring some, shall we say, unusual ideas.

We have decided either a shock collar or a Tazer are options on the table. We don't want to be cruel, but we feel in emergent cases, when we need to rouse Dustin quickly, these would be the most effective tools. Dustin doesn't so much hate the idea, as he is afraid of the idea. He thinks it might permanently disable him or cause some lasting neurological affect. He thinks it might hurt. I'm not buying that excuse.

The police use them. We use them on dogs. In most cases, it's not likely you would DIE from it. I say MAN UP! A little jolt; a little tingle around the neck. And really, he would be asleep for the entire first part of it.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Oh No You Didn't

My brother does not enjoy my latest posts. Although he is by no means a conservative, he apparently is quite sensitive to certain topics. I guess he didn't enjoy my choice of analogies and hair pondering.

I appreciate all comments, whether they be lovers or haters of my thoughts. I do not hold grudges against people who share their opinions. Although your birthday gift may seem shabby this year, it is certainly not because you hated on my blog. I still love you.

And so I have decided, I will completely avoid topics involving anal sex or prostitution. Anything to do with masturbation and porn are completely off limits, and I solomly promise, I will not discuss anything related to lesbians.

You have my word.